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I was so embarrassed I wanted to shrink into the cushions and disappear. But John didn't let me. He was actually very good. And when he told me he loved me, I couldn't stand it anymore and had to kiss him. It was amazing. I wanted to rip off his pants and have him take me right there. I was so wound up, and had gone from mortified to elated, that I didn't care anymore. I wanted to get started right now.After Kay had left on Sunday, I thought about that last 15 years that John and I could've been together, if we hadn't both been congenitally stupid. And for a while I mourned that lost time. But I slowly realized that it was probably for the best, and if we'd been together that young we may have outgrown each other, or gotten sick of each other or something. Both of us had too many changes to live through, and I doubt we'd have made it. It would've been nice to lose my virginity to him though, and I could've done it earlier than freshman year in college, which would've made high school. People like to hide it. Often, they have no one to turn to. At all. For women, there are shelters and social services. No one ever hears of Male Victims of Domestic Violence. No talk of battered men. No mention of men attacked at home by their wives or girlfriends. They do exist. These ‘battered men’. It may seem laughable but it is not. You may know a man who is being physically or emotionally abused by his wife or girlfriend at home. He doesn’t let it show. He hides it. Often, he is in deep denial. He may cover up bruises or scars. Yet he suffers. Like the female victims of domestic violence suffer, so do the male victims. The female victims can defend themselves against their batterer because we all know of the battered woman syndrome. What about the male victim of domestic violence? Often, he is being tormented by a vicious and angry wife or girlfriend who abuses him physically. Yet, even as he is hurt he cannot defend himself. If the cops are called, he will be the one taken.
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